


arisa's museum unheist

by instantcurry



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Brief Mention of Blood, and that thing of old cheese that was discovered a while ago, hakanai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 19:20:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15847710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/instantcurry/pseuds/instantcurry
Summary: old milk gets stolen, arisa gets it back with the help of popipatastey bodyguard au by @nicksightings twitter





	arisa's museum unheist

**Author's Note:**

> write this in spurts at 2am 
> 
> im trying to flex my writing muscles but my brain decided to delete everything i know about the english language
> 
> again thanks @nicksightings twit for the yummie popipas. hope u don't mind me borrowing ur au for this ^^

The world's oldest jar of cheese, acquired all the way from Egypt that had barely been in the museum's possession for 24 hours, had been stolen.

The moment the alarm sounded Arisa was sprinting down corridors to the exhibition hall, Kasumi and Rimi at her heels. "They're escaping through the east wing," her walkie-talkie crackled to life, "and they have an escape vehicle ready, black car, over."

"Got it." Tae. By the sound of her echoed voice, she was probably legging it from the basement. "Want me to intercept them? Over."

Arisa picked up her radio, fumbling with the buttons while making sure she didn't run into any of the exhibits. "Get the car ready, we'll meet at the entrance," she huffed. The channel went quiet, before Tae spoke up again. "You have to say over when you're done talking, over." An engine sputtered in the background.

"Shut up!"

"Over, over." She reminded. Arisa groaned.

Their bright yellow sedan was already at the front of the museum when the three arrived. Saaya was already in the backseat, urgently waving for them to hurry. "Lucky us, getting a tip yesterday that this would happen, huh?" Arisa climbed into the passenger seat, "Yeah, luck–"

The sound of screeching tires, followed by a black car interrupted her. "That's them! Floor it Otae!"

"Buckle up Arisa. Safety first."

She scrabbled for the seatbelt. "I'll get it on soon, just floor it!" Tae slammed on the accelerator, causing Arisa to jerk forward and bang her head onto the dashboard. "See? Safety first." If they weren't in a car chase, she would have whacked the girl's head ten times already.

Saaya leaned out the window, rifle aimed at the black car. A muffled gunshot later, she dipped her head and gun back in, pulling a GPS out of her pocket. "I put a tracker on their vehicle, just in case."

"Nice timing, too!" Kasumi pointed ahead as a smoke grenade came hurtling onto the windshield. Arisa groaned again, pinching the top of her nose. Why did thieves have to be so difficult all the damn time?

After pulling over (Tae couldn't afford to accumulate any more demerit points) and getting rid of the smoke, Saaya took her GPS out again. "Lucky us again! They're parked about 4 blocks from here."

 _Lucky us,_ Arisa thought. "Alright, you go secure a vantage point. As for the rest of you, guns out, we're storming the place." Kasumi let out a whoop. Rimi just shook. "Except you Rimi, you don't have to shoot anyone if you don't want to."

Fortunately enough, the thief didn't bother concealing their hideout. The black car was parked in front of an empty two story building, with two people in black guarding the entrance. Arisa's phone vibrated. A text from Saaya. _I'm in position. I can see a silhouette behind the curtains on the second floor. Be careful._

"Alright, our guy's on the second floor, but expect more of these people inside," she jabbed a thumb towards the two guards. "On my count. Three, two–"

"Chaaaarge!"

"–one." Kasumi ran out from their cover, pistol in hand. Thankfully she was a good shot, downing the guards before they could react and throwing the door open to reveal even more inside. She and Tae got to work, shooting guards left and right but making sure they didn't kill them, because they weren't that type of people.

Eventually they made it to the second floor, with only a jammed door in their way.

"Hey, open up! I know you're in there with our cheese, assholes!" No response. "Open up or I'll break the door down!"

"You can't, Arisa," Kasumi put a hand on her shoulder. "The door opens towards us. It's impossible."

"Hnnnnnnng."

Rimi stepped forward, "I– I got this..."

"Rimi the door's solid wood. I don't want you to get hurt." And Rimi plunged her fist right through the door.

"Oh my god."

Feeling around for the handle, Rimi unlocked the door, pulling her arm back out and swinging it open, ignoring her own bloody fist. All while keeping a calm expression on her face. "Oh my god," Arisa repeated.

The two occupants of the room were clearly in shock at the big dick move Rimi pulled as well. Their mouths were agape, eyes visibly wide open even through the masks in their faces. The taller person cleared their throat, throwing their arms up in defeat. "Well, it looks like you've caught us, my kittens. This is the first time someone has caught the Phantom Thief Hello Happy. You should all be honored."

"Oh, enough of this crap," Arisa grabbed one of Tae's uzis, aiming it at the thief. "Hand over the cheese and no one gets hurt."

"Oh my, violence for violence is the rule of the beasts. In other words..." She gestured to her shorter accomplice, who tossed an object wrapped neatly in paper into Arisa's hands. "You can have it back, a reward for catching the Phantom Thief Hello Happy and her beautiful partner in crime."

Pulling back the paper revealed a brown ceramic jug. Before Arisa could inspect it further, the thief spoke up again. "Now that you've got what you've came for, we'll be taking our leave," and they were gone in a cloud of smoke and a shatter of glass. Gunshots followed – Saaya trying but failing to land a shot on the too agile duo. "As the great bard said, farewell!" The thief shouted as they made their getaway. The last few futile gunshots echoed, the bullets reflecting off the metal of the car. _"Fuueₑₑₑ"_

By the time the group had reached the entrance of the building, the thieves were a speck in the distance. _At least we have the cheese,_ Arisa thought.

"Pfft... The jar has boobs," Kasumi stifled her giggles. She turned the jug in her hands, facing two circles of clay up. Wait. She took off the lid of the jug. Empty.

Now that she thought about it, the security guard that informed them on the thieves' escape plan didn't sound familiar. It was all coming into place. The real thieves took the cheese and escaped the other way while their thieves lured them to the other side of town! "Lucky us," she muttered under her breath.

"Back to the car! This isn't our cheese!"

It was going to be a long night.


End file.
